By Jess Wisloski

1. Mermaid Actress From Splash
2. Splash Movie Scenes
3. Mermaid Splash Nail Salon
4. Mermaid Fountain From Splash
5. Madison The Mermaid From Splash

Observer staff

Mermaid Actress From Splash

Here's a compilation of your favorite OMG mermaid makeovers!☆.。.:.・°☆.。.:.・°☆.。.:.・°☆.。.:.・°☆ ☆.。.:.Join me on my other channels. Directed by Ron Howard. With Tom Hanks, Daryl Hannah, Eugene Levy, John Candy. A young man is reunited with a mermaid who saved him from drowning as a boy. He falls in love with her, not knowing who or what she is.

Ever wanted to be a mermaid, swishing your mega-tail through the water and teasing silly mortals that cross your path? Mermaid school, a trend that’s grown across the U.S. over the past 18 months, allows humans to now realize that fantasy in the form of swim lessons, but as this reporter discovered in a recent class held at The Edge in Williston, as funny as it might seem to some, mermaiding is no joke.

Selkie Mermaids is a new Vermont-based mermaid swimming company started by Elaine Fortin, who reached out to the Observer when she began offering classes at the The Edge on June 26.

I’ve long been a confident swimmer, and spent seven years in my late teens and early twenties lifeguarding and teaching swimming lessons for the American Red Cross and various YMCAs. I enjoy a challenge, so the idea of a mermaid swim class sounded novel, and surely worth trying.

What I found when I got there is that there’s a sharp line dividing the women and men from the (would-be) fish at this kind of swimming school.

As a kid, I wore through my VHS of Darryl Hannah in “Splash,” and incessantly sang along to the songs from “The Little Mermaid”…but I am quite sure I didn’t harbor fantasies of actually being a mermaid. (Ninja turtle, yes.) For Jessa Ellis, 9, of Jericho, that isn’t the case — she’s basically wanted to be a mermaid since she was born, her mother Julie Coffey said.

Splash Movie Scenes

“This is Jessa right here,” she said. “She lives for this stuff.”

When I arrived, the mermaid tails were hung up on a clothing rack on the pool deck, clipped by the fin, and Jessa was exhuberant about putting one on. She wanted to rush through the warm-up exercises led by the instructor, Allie Hameline, and did turbo push-ups so she could get that tail and fin as quickly as possible.

As I struggled to put my fin on, my classmate Victoria Schwarz, of Shelburne, told me the legend of the selkie, or the Scottish/Irish creature that mermaids originate from— basically a tragic figure that leaves the sea to live as a human, and stashes her tail, only to be landlocked when a human makes off with it. What I got from that conversation: Schwarz was a mermaid daydreamer, too

Mermaid fans then, would probably love stretching the bathing-suit-tight tail over their legs, binding those bad boys from functional use. It may even feel freeing — especially because the decorative scale design that runs down your legs has a pretty cool effect once it’s on. But for me, that was terrifying. I don’t recall feeling claustrophobic before, but I had a really hard time forfeiting the use of my legs in the water. Moments before, I’d strapped both my feet into a plastic fin, like two scuba flippers glued together. Forget Ariel, all I could relate to was a cylinder with arms…that was going to have to swim, now. Oh, and speaking of Ariel, the class was set to the tune of “The Little Mermaid” soundtrack, with a few Caribbean songs thrown into the mix.

Putting on the tail was the worst of it, because once in the water it was easier to maneuver…except I wound up pogoing around and tipping over quite a bit. I didn’t notice my classmates having the same struggles, but then, they all looked pretty graceful swimming. Me? I got water in my nose, eyes and mouth with each massive wallop of a kick.

The hour-long class went over basic moves, like gyrating your body over and under the water’s surface, using the hips as a point from which to kick, diving for toys, and handstands. After a few laps across the smaller pool’s length, I could feel how much more tiring mermaiding was than regular swimming. And, how difficult.

It was reassuring then, to learn that our instructor Allie was normally a swim team coach, and one of my classmates, Luke Sweeney, was a racer. Schwarz, who has been open-water swimming since mid-June in the lake, said it was the challenge that attracted her to the class. “It’s way more of a workout,” she said afterwards. “I think the hardest part is not panicking when you get water in your face.”

“It’s even different than snorkeling or scuba diving because you’re mostly using your legs and your arms [in those], not really your center. So I wasn’t really prepared for this either,” she said, as I complained about finding the class tough. “I’m somewhat prepared, and it’s like, yeah, I could really get into this.”

After one more class, she said, she’d feel comfortable enough to buy her own monofin.

Jessa also had a better time of it, and if I’m honest, she made it more fun for me, too. There’s just something infectious about a pogoing 9-year-old goading you to tag them in a game of Sharks and Minnows.

“I really, really like it. If people want to join it’s really really amazing,” she said. “It makes you be a better swimmer and you can learn really cool uniques in it,” she said. I don’t know if uniques is a new word the kids are saying, but I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt on that one.

“If you want to be a mermaid, take these swimming lessons. I’m a really really really big mermaid fan,” she added, needlessly.

Her mom said she was grateful the classes came to Vermont. “We were preparing to drive to Montreal for mermaid swimming lessons,” said Coffey. “And this came up and it was so close. She’s been asking for a mermaid tail for two years. And she loves to swim.”

Aquamermaid, a company Fortin started swimming with last year, brought mermaiding to Montreal in February 2015. By December, the school operated out of three pools in the city, as well as one in Toronto and one in Ottawa, with more than 4,000 students in 2015.

While mermaiding brings to mind mystical creatures and playful if exotic fun, warnings by the manufacturers of the fins, health officials and consumer advocates have arisen. Public officials in Australia warned parents against buying the full mermaid suits or monofins last December, if they would be used by inexperienced or young swimmers. Manufacturers warn the plastic fins aren’t for use by those under age six, and professional mermaids have spoken out about even mermaid schools being a dangerous introduction to the sport, if taught by inexperienced instructors.

Fortin became certified as a mermaid instructor in March, taught by a national swim coach at the World of Swimming, a foundation based in Detroit, and then trained under Aquamermaid in its techniques and how to set up her own franchise. She’s also a Red Cross Water Safety Instructor. Aside from the Edge class, she hasn’t set up shop anywhere else.

“I love teaching and seeing people catch on and have such fun with this new sport,” she said.

While she has visions of special parties and birthday events, she thinks it can adapt to a multi-age workout. “ I hope to have the older Vermont population try it. Vermont is special, with such a healthy, fit older population, many who love to hike and ski. Mermaiding is thrilling to me, and I hope that they will soon register,” she said.

“Everyone who asks me about it has such a sparkle in their eyes and tells me they want to try it. I just need to get that ball rolling.”

Splash is a 1984 film about a New York City produce supplier who falls in love with a mermaid who saved him from drowning as a child in Cape Cod 20 years before.

Directed by Ron Howard. Written by Brian Grazer, Bruce Jay Friedman, Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel. Starring Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah.

Allen Bauer[edit]

• It just so happens I come from a very long line of married people.
• I am not a fish! How many times do I have to tell you people that? Now, will you just let me outta here? Please? Huh? People?
  • Said while standing naked in a tank with wires trailing from his body.

Walter Kornbluth[edit]

• I suppose you're just some harmless beachcomber who happens to wear a tuxedo!
• I was right. Behold, the mermaid!
• I'm a really nice guy. If I had friends you could ask them.

Others[edit]

• Freddie: [excitedly waves an issue of Penthouse magazine] They published my letter. Here it is 'A lesbian no more'. They published my letter.
• Stan: Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. The statue is a gift from French citizens that has come to symbolize hope for naked women everywhere. (angrily) BOCCE BALLS!!

Dialogue[edit]

Allen: Are there any messages?

Mrs. Stimler: Oh, yes. [goes back to working]

Allen: [pause] And they are?

Mrs. Stimler: Huh? Oh, your father called. He wants you to call him back.

Allen: [pauses] Mrs. Stimler, our father passed away about five years ago. Do you remember?

Mrs. Stimler: [confused look] Right. Shall I get him for you?

Allen: No, thank you.

Allen: You know by the time I got there, she was already gone.

Freddie: Victoria left, huh?

Allen: Yeah. You know why she left, Freddie? Because I didn't love her.

Freddie: That bitch.

[Allen is an usher at a wedding and has recently ended a relationship.]

Wedding Guest: Hey, Allen! Where's Victoria?

Allen: She's not coming! What, do you want your money back?!

Guest: Hey, Allen!

Allen: She left me! She moved out and my life's shambles, all right? That's the news, you want the weather? Anywhere but the first three rows!

[Allen has passed out and laying on the bar in a snack bowl]

Freddie: You see, drinking is a matter of algebraic ratio. How drunk you get is caused by the amount of alcohol you consume in relation to your total body weight. You see my point? It's not that you had too much to drink. You're just too skinny.

[Allen remains comatose]

Freddie: Bartender! Another round for my friend and I here!

Allen: No, no, Freddie! I don't want to get drunk!

Freddie: But you are drunk. You see, a sober person would have reached for the pretzels.

Bartender: Is he gonna be up there all day?

Freddie: I don't know.

Allen: [coming to] Ohh... I'm on the bar!

Freddie: Oh, you're on the bar. Here, let me help you down.

[Allen slips and falls to the floor]

Freddie: Uh-oh, you fell.

Claude: There's a guy down the beach that runs people out to the island.

Allen: What's the name?

Claude: The guy or the island?

Allen: I'll find him.

Claude: Hey, Mr. Cornbeef?

Kornbluth: Kornbluth!

Claude: Whatcha lookin' for down there? Buried treasure?

Kornbluth: Wanna know what I'm lookin' for? Boys? I'll tell ya. (screams) NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!! THAT'S WHAT I'M LOOKIN' FOR! Get outta my way! (dives off the ship into the water)

Claude: That's pee down his air hose. (laughs)

Allen: What is your name?

Madison: It's hard to say in English.

Allen: Then just say it in your language.

Madison: All right. My name is... [makes high-pitched squeals that shatter all the television screens]

Allen: [nervously to the clerks] So, how about those Knicks?

[Madison is hiding in the bathroom, desperately trying to dry off her tail]

Allen: All right, Madison, now this is getting scary. If you don't open this door, I'm going to break it down!

Madison: No, Allen! Please!

Allen: Madison!

Madison: Allen, no! [throws a towel over herself]

Allen: All right, that's it!

[He busts the door open to see Madison laying on the bathroom floor; Madison has returned to her human form]

Madison: Hi.

Allen: Hi. Is everything okay?

Madison: Yeah.

Allen: Why wouldn't you let me in?

Madison: I was... shy.

Allen: You were shy? After the cab, the elevator, and on top of the refrigerator, you were shy?

Madison: I was shy.

Allen: [to himself] She was shy.

Allen: Freddie, the woman learned how to speak English in a single afternoon.

Freddie: She could probably speak English already. I think she was in shock from being arrested, you know?

Allen: Well now, what about that, huh? What about a woman showing up naked in a public place, Freddie?

Freddie: Well I'm in for it, of course.

Mermaid Splash Nail Salon

Dr. Zidell: What's happened to you? You were the brightest student in my class. True, emotionally you were twelve years old.

Kornbluth: I was twelve years old.

Dr. Zidell: That's right. And look what you've become, a schmuck.

Kornbluth: There is a mermaid in New York City.

Dr. Zidell: Oh, oh, sure, sure. You mean this-this-this naked girl? How come she's got legs?

Kornbluth: She has legs out of the water, she has fins in the water. You taught me that, Dr. Zidell, don't you remember? You taught me all the legends.

Mermaid Fountain From Splash

Madison: You said whatever my secret was, you'd understand.

Allen: Yeah...but...

Madison: You thought at least I was a human being.

Madison The Mermaid From Splash

[Allen is being mobbed by reporters]

Freddie: Allen, you all right?

Allen: Yeah, get me outta here!

Freddie: Is anyone here from Penthouse Magazine?

Reporters: No.

Freddie: Then we ain't talkin'.

[Allen sees his employees staring at him]

Freddie: What are you looking at? You never saw a guy who slept with a fish before? Get back to work!

[Allen and Freddie are about to enter the office]

Mrs. Stimler: [to Allen] Oh Mr. Bauer, you had a million messages. I wrote them down here. You got calls from CBS, NBC, ABC, AP, UPI, Time, Ted Turner, Newsweek, Marineland, Ripley's Believe it or Not, and Mrs. Paul.

Freddie: Not now, Mrs. Stimler. All right.

Allen: I don't understand. All my life, I've been waiting for someone and when I find her, she's... she's a fish.

Freddie: Nobody said love's perfect.

Allen: Oh, Freddie, I don't expect it to be perfect! But for God's sake, it's usually human! Every day, people meet, they fall in love, every day! And look at what I got.

Freddie: [angrily] Look at what you got, huh? Yeah, let's look at what you got. Let's take a good look at what you got. People fall in love every day, huh? Is that what you said?

Allen: Yeah.

Freddie: Yeah? Well, that's a crock. It doesn't work that way. Look, do you at least realize how happy you were with her? That is, of course, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. Every day? Come on. Some people will never be that happy. I'll never be that happy! [pause] What am I talking to you for? You don't know anything. Mrs. Stimler! [leaves the office]

Allen: I didn't even like you when I first met you.

Kornbluth: Nobody likes me when they first meet me.

Madison: Allen...

[Allen and Kornbluth look back to see the Marines approaching them]

Kornbluth: Move!

Taglines[edit]

• Two days ago, this girl showed up naked at the Statue of Liberty. For Allen Bauer, it was love at first sight. Now, everyone is chasing her... trying to prove she's a mermaid. From the first laugh, you'll be hooked.
• Allen Bauer thought he'd never find the right woman... He was only half wrong!
• She was the woman of Allen's dreams. She had large dark eyes, a beautiful smile, and a great pair of fins.

Cast[edit]

• Tom Hanks - Allen Bauer
• Daryl Hannah - Madison
• Eugene Levy - Dr. Walter Kornbluth
• John Candy - Freddie Bauer
• Dody Goodman - Mrs. Stimler
• Richard B. Shull - Dr. Ross
• Shecky Greene - Mr. Buyrite
• Bobby Di Cicco - Jerry
• Howard Morris - Dr. Zidell

External links[edit]

• Splash quotes at the Internet Movie Database
• Splash at Rotten Tomatoes